i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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