We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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