Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize