Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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