batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
