i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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