Too much gin, very little bucket
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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