u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
