i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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