easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize