see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize