Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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