You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
