My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
