omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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