How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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