Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
