come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
