Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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