I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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