This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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