All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.