I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life