Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers