I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now