I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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