I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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