god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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