you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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