I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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