I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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