I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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