whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize