I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize