I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
