I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
