How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
