I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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