Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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