His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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