omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
