well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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