If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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