we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
