Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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