Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
