dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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