ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
