I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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