i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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