Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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