I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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