Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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