Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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