There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
