I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
