Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
