we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
